Here I am, Send me

Lessons from my Central California Women’s Conference experience:


Last Tuesday (and this past week…and through this whole process) I experienced the power of my thoughts and overcoming limiting beliefs.  I experienced how to get myself out of a negative thinking pattern, and how to psych myself up to get into peak state before a ‘performance.’ Music played a vital role, and sometimes I just have to dance it out.


Most importantly, I learned the true power of community.  I am at a loss for words at the people who have rallied around me to make today happen as it did.  From my web developers, video editor, parents, dear friends, colleagues, friends I haven’t even met yet – I got to witness first hand people stepping in and going above and beyond to help me succeed.  I seriously do not know how to put this into words.


I was emotional for different reasons last week.  I think the biggest lesson I had was realizing that at times, I don’t believe in myself and I don’t see myself the way others believe in me and see me.  I have had to face that limiting belief through this process of preparing, and it has been a very difficult and humbling experience.  It has been emotional, because I stand at another crossroads.  I can either choose to change my thought patterns and start really stepping into and owning who I am and CELEBRATING that; or I can keep discrediting the things I do and keep myself small and wonder why all these people would come alongside me.  It still is hard to adequately put it into words.


My mom said something so meaningful to me last week as we were leaving the conference.  She said the first two sessions she went to were okay – people just kind of told stories about their experiences, and there wasn’t much she walked away with.  But in my session, she walked away feeling motivated and better about herself.


Do you know what else I learned?  It goes back to the second thing I mentioned.  I have been wanting a man, specifically “my man,” to be with me in this process and be there to support and help me the past few days/weeks.  But what I realized today was going through this “on my own” was so much more powerful because I got to rely on my friends and family instead, and I got to experience just how wonderful and powerful their love and support is.  I wanted my man there with me because I wanted to feel loved and supported and enough from him, which completely discounts what I’ve been working towards.  (I’ll confess, this leaves me feeling way back to square 1 when it comes to relationships, but I think it’s okay…it’s all part of the journey).  I’m perfectly content taking myself out for a fancy dinner and drinks to celebrate, because even though I have a lot of work ahead of me – this IS something huge to celebrate!!


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God, you are absolutely amazing.  I didn’t think we’d make it, and in 6 weeks you brought together an entire 12 week video teaching series, recorded 2 guided meditation sessions, recreated artwork and edited and published workbooks AND launched a website.  Yes I’m in debt, yes I’m tired, yes I’m still scared, but I’m in awe and I’m excited and I am going to decide this is going to be something good and something big.  I keep getting visions of me speaking in a large arena, and as much as I want to discount it because I’m afraid, last year at this time I had a vision of speaking at the women’s conference in the next 2 years and it happened in one.   I don’t know how to explain this ability to see something and have it manifest in my life, but I want The Life I Now Live to be across the country,  and I want to speak truth into peoples’ lives – for your glory.


Here I am, send me.


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